Who influences you?

I called you a friend, you treated me like a helpline; only calling me when you needed. You minipulated me into thinking I needed you in my life, you changed my way of thinking to see how you see the world; small, dark and all about boys. I went from being on top of my game to having to watch the game being played from the benches.

You, my so called friend, ruined me. So after years of having you in my life, I cut you out off. It was hard and difficult and I cried for a long time, my heart is still healing, I've still tying to redevelop myself but I've never been happier. 

For those who don't know, I started filming again and during a shoot I realised why I stopped, I lost confidence and courage, I lost a bit of who I am trying to play so many roles when I couldn't even play myself right. And that hurts, but it also hurts seeing others change who they are for someone else. My heart breaks because people in this day and age are more than happy losing who they are and what they stand for because of another human being's wants and desires.

We are so wrapped around doing whatever it takes to keep people around, we fail to see the more of someone else we take in; the less room we have for ourselves. For years I kept people around who had convinced me that I wouldn't be able to make through life without them. I spent years conforming to who my friends wanted me to be, my persona and then learning and memorising what they wanted me to say. I failed to realise that I was changing myself for the wants of other without realising that I needed to be who I wanted to be.

The only way I can describe it is as if I was throwing away my priorities for the dreams of those who couldn't care less about mine, show me your friends and I can show you your future.

I hung around with people who couldn't look beyond and I became just like that.

Now I realised when reflecting on myself and the decisions I've made, I need to reflect on those I've spoke to, those who have had some influence on my decision and thoughts.

It's changing and adding to your mindset and perspective that could save you from heartbreak, feeling like a failure and making the same mistake over and over again.

We as a generation have failed to recognise the importance and value of those we surround ourselves with.

My best friend, Sam, strengths me emotionally, mentally and physically. She's taught me how to love myself more, how important humility is and how to enjoy life every second. I choose to have her (and keep her) in my life. 

I like who I am becoming with her by my side. 

I have a rule; if you aren't willing to better yourself everyday, reach for your goals, build and strengthen relationship, I choose not to get involved with you. Because I deserve better. You have the choice, you have the power, you have the strength within you; step back and reflect on those you surround yourself with. Because you deserve happiness in it truest form, and you're only going to get that if you surround yourself with those who you don't mind becoming over the years to come. You can do whatever you put your mind too, even if it seems impossible. Praying for you on this journey called life. Love always, Gase